Monday, November 16, 2009

Hi,my name is Melissa...

... and I am addicted to Artisan Breads in 5 Minutes a Day.

I've been struggling for the last year with my decreasing level of functioning - that's no secret. Like many people I'm a time-filler. When I was home alone with my first daughter I tried a number of neat, stimulating work from home jobs to keep myself other-than-momming fulfilled. I never wanted a full-time job as I love being home with my kids, but I always seemed to poke around for little extra things to keep me challenged.

Well now I'm benched. I closed my business, can't continue working in my past fields and am applying for disability.

I've spent a lot of time feeling various things - glum, lost, even guilty. I come from a family of entrepreneurs on both sides, going back as far as we can identify. When I lost my ability to work, I needed to reframe my sense of worth. The biggest challenge for me is my loss of independence. It's humbling to suddenly need assistance doing all the things were proud of accomplishing independently.

One day a precious friend introduced me to the book I linked above. I don't think either of us expected what followed. I picked up the book and some yeast and mixed up a batch of dough. No kneading, no long periods of standing in the kitchen, no complicated recipes or rising times that challenge my fuzzy thinking and poor memory. And then there was bread. GOOD bread, not passable bread machine bread. AMAZING bread.

Many folks know the feeling of amazing satisfaction that comes from handing their family something warm and nourishing and watching them enjoy it. This baking method has given me back my independence, contentment and satisfaction in the kitchen, given me away to create without triggering a flare or using up my small reserves of energy.

I never thought I could find healing in a cookbook! My special thanks to Paul, who never grumbles about running out for yeast and flour ... I couldn't do it without him.

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