Maddie: Mom, can I have goldfish?
Self: No Maddie. You can have cereal. It's morning - no snacks until after breakfast. Would you like to watch Arthur? Cat in the Hat is ending and it's on after that.
Maddie: Ok, Mommy. Are these Grammy's knitting needles?
Self: Yes, Maddie. Please don't touch them, they are longer than mine and I don't want you to get hurt.
Maddie: Can I have an oreo?
Self (fetching cereal): No Maddie. You can have cereal. It's morning - no snacks until after breakfast.
Maddie (has fetched and is now playing with the 14" long knitting needles): Mom, you said you were putting on Arthur. The Cat in the Hat is on ... but it's ending!
Self (articulating very precisely and retrieving needles): MADELINE. I said please do not play with Grammy's needles. And yes, Maddie. Cat in the Hat is ending, Arthur is coming on.
Maddie: Mom, can I have an Oreo?
Self: MADDIE. There is a bowl of cereal in your lap. IT IS DARK OUT. NO.
(pause while I take a deep breathe... glance back over)
Self: MADELINE. GIVE me the plastic hanger, get it out of your ear and eat your breakfast.
Maddie (muttering darkly): Now I have nuthin to play with.
Self (tossing a toy in the vicinity of her lap): Here, love, have a baby doll. It's not sharp.
Maddie: Mom! Wait!! .... Can I have an Oreo?
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